What do you think of this short story so far? (It's supposed to be REALLY silly.)?

I think it's cool you know the overly self conscious narrator and could work with a bit of polishing - I would cut down on the ums ahs and self conscious talk you only need a little to get the idea and the rest is repeating itself but you need a good story for her to tell maybe she's telling the story of a flawed guy but she has a crush on him and so keeps making excuses for his stupid/bad behaviour ? anyway keep going with it it's original